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Despre frica
Frica e un sentiment pozitiv... de cele mai multe ori. Sigur, ma puteti contrazice spunand ca frica te poate face in unele cazuri sa nu actionezi, dar aici intervine partea interesanta legata de frica. Pe mine frica ma face tocmai sa actionez. In acest moment in mintea mea frica e de doua tipuri: spontana si continua. Frica spontana apare alaturi de elementul surpriza, cand sansele sunt mai mari ca reactia sa fie una de blocare a recatiilor. Al doilea tip de frica modeleaza, modifica in mod foarte usor de recunoscut comportamentul.
M-am gandit un pic si cred ca cea mai mare frica a mea este cea de singuratate. Nu ca as locui singura o perioada (cu toate ca nu putem elimina total apropierea fizica din ecuatie), este vorba de sentimentul ca nu mai e nimeni care sa simta la fel ca mine. Evident nu am pretentia ca o persoana sa simta tot ce simt eu, dar pot regasi franturi din trairile mele in diferite persoane. Asa se nasc diferite graduri de relatii interpersonale: de la cunoscuti in tren cu care imparatasesti aceasi opinie asupra mizeriei, continuand cu prieteni care iti inteleg nevoia de a bea vin, pana la sufletul pereche care simte cand ai nevoie de cineva care sa iti asculte tacerea.
In afara de parintii mei foarte sociabili care m-au crescut in acelasi spirit (si carora le multumesc pe aceasta cale), cred ca aceasta frica m-a facut sa fiu o persoana agreabila si simpatica (pentru unii mai mult decat pentru altii). Incerc sa imi formez o retea cat mai extinsa de cunoscuti, din surse cat mai diferite pentru a avea tot timpul spatele acoperit. Nu incep relatiile cu oamenii avand acest "plan" in minte, se intampla natural pentru ca reactia la frica este mai degeraba inconstienta, intrata intr-un reflex.
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Serbia - Muntenegru - Croatia
I'm on vacation again :). It seems that only the thought of not having a summer break in the students' kind of way made me do more things than I would have done otherwise. Since I became employed full-time I've been to Malaga (Spain), Cheia (Romania), Sunny Beach (Bulgaria), Mamaia (Romania) and Kotor (Muntenegru).
I am now in Kotor, thanks to my dear friend Dea (very fun person to be with, by the way). This part of Europe was kind of blank for me and I am happy that we decided to come here. You have it all in one place: warm and clear sea sorrounded by rocky mountains, medieval castles and fish in the sea (like in one of my favourite songs Michael Buble - Feeling Good). Sure you need a local with you to do the translations, since not many people here speak English, you might have some surprises in the bus or at the border, but these are things that I am sure you can find in other pleaces as well, so my focus is on the first description.
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Sunt alt om
M-am tuns... :) dar nu asta e motivul pentru care sunt alt om... acum cateva zile s-a incheiat o etapa importanta din viata mea. Inainte sa implinesc 23 ani mi-am pus copilaria in cutie. Nu va panicati, nu e toata acolo, nu ma veti vedea serioasa si nezambitoare de acum in colo, doar ca am reusit sa imi strang mare parte din jucarii (ratuste in principal) in 3 cutii mari. De acum e oficial, ERA ratustelor s-a incheiat. Oare ce o sa urmeze?
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My brother
Another god thing that happened at the seaside was that I got to see my brother in action. He is a DJ and he entertained the Amnezia and Goa clubs in Mamaia. I am happy to say that I felt very proud to be his sister when I saw him enjoying his work so much.
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Mamaia 2007
The word that best describes the long weekend in Constanta and Mamaia is RELAXATION.
A short list of the things I did:
- Got tanned (but not too much);
- Bathed into the sea (even though the water was rather cold);
- Ate and drank at La Scoica, La Mama, La Dolce Vita, Giuliano and Cafe del Mar;
- Clubbing in Megalos and Amnesia;
- Played the guitar at night on the beach: this experience was amazing - melodiously waves, bashful stars, warm breeze, friends and soft music... what else could you wish for?
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To the seaside - the beginning
The plan was that we woluld go to the seaside with the car around 4-5 o'clook in the morning. Because Chris is the driver he went to bed and I was left with the packing. Looks easy, but... I was on Red Bull / Power Up for 2 days and the effect was fading away, actualy it suddenly "puffed" away.
I said to myself: I should sleep for one hour (1:30-2:30), set the alarm, wake up and finish the packing. Easy to say but not to put in practice.
By some miracle I woke up at... 6 sharp... Let's look at the bright side (as I normaly do, but when it's my fault this side is unusually important): we will pick up Carmen and Mihaela (friends from Baia Mare and Hateg who were sourposed to come with the train) and it will be a real road trip. We will be able to feel the sun nicely on our skin, as the car has no air conditioning :P
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I like kids... but not mine (for now)
I spent the last weekend in Comarnic, my hometown, with the people from Aktiv Club, taking basic lessons of archery. I discovered that arrows are too much for me and reoriented my time towards Ilinca (age 3) and Anca (age 6), the coach's daughters.
I consider myself a friendly person and I find it easy to socialize with other people. When it comes to kids it's even easier since I like to play the kid quite often (I collect ducks, I smile a lot, I like games of all sorts...). The bonding between me and the girls was consolidated by... human needs. After panicking a bit when the little one told me "Fac pipi!" (I need to pee) I found it quite rewarding to help her. At the end of the day I faced the most difficult separation of all (even though I was exhausted by all the energy). Having the eyes of Puss in Boots (from Shrek), Ilinca asked me very softly "Nu pleca, mai stai cu mine..." (Don't go, stay with me!). Finding words is difficult when you are in these "complicated" situations.
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Thought about love
As I recently told a friend of mine, I don't do philosophy too much because I don't want life to pass by with me thinking about it and not living it. But, from time to time, I stop and draw a little conclusion that helps me to clear my understanding of life.
If love seems a difficult thing to put in practice than it is not real love.
In my world love is the most important feeling one could live. If you try to find that feeling just by being in love with the idea of loving somebody than you are wrong and you might live a lie. You might be having lots of fun with some people, talk interesting things with others. Love is the special thing that makes you feel OK about having to make some compromises in order to do a little bit of everything with your lover.
It's funny because in other matters I believe in division of labor... maybe that is why love is so precious, it has it all in one.
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Jet Sky - 20 min
As it was the day for adrenaline, I took a ride on a jet sky as well. I know my boyfriend will not be very happy when he reads this, but I lived the most intense 20 minutes of my life. It felt a bit like between life and death (especially because my "driver" has a rich history in car crashes). At the end all my muscles were shaking, but I would definitely like to do this again even at night.
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Parasailing - 7 min
Iulia convinced me to go with her on a parasailing tour. I was the one that controlled the landing and as you can see form the photo 2 hands weren't enough, I was forced to use my neck muscles in order to land safely on the sand. I was very ambitious and I did it (unlike other people who landed in the water because the wind changed, so they say). Let this be a lesson to me: whenever I will want something I will use as many muscles as possible to get it... not in all cases of course :)
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